what not to do to someone with ocd

It is not uncommon to hear an OCD sufferer make a comment such as "OCD thoughts are ruining my life," or "I accept to get rid of these thoughts!" This refrain is echoed by many of my clients who lament their unwanted, intrusive thoughts and the seemingly countless struggle to suppress, neutralize, and explicate away their thoughts.

The common belief, whether explicit or implicit, is that the presence and content of the thoughts are the trouble, and getting rid of them will restore hope, conviction, and happiness.

Merely OCD is non a thought problem — information technology's a feeling problem. In other words, if the thought did not take the accompanying painful feeling, y'all would ignore the thought, call information technology "weird," and merely motion on without compulsions or a second idea.

Allow me to unpack this as it may seem similar what I'm saying is controversial or missing some of import indicate about OCD.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a status marked past a pattern of unwanted, intrusive thoughts, feelings, images, sensations, or urges that accept the form of a Feared Story. This story tells the sufferer of a potential, and as of yet fictional, outcome or truth about their actions, intentions, grapheme, or futurity. This story, being completely unwanted, makes the sufferer feel an overwhelming sense of feet.

To deal with this anxiety and to go back to a sense of normalcy, confidence, and comfort, the OCD sufferer will and so engage in overt or covert compulsive behaviors as an anxiety management strategy. Compulsions can include avoidance, reassurance seeking, mental review, rituals, and other repetitive acts. One time done, the sufferer gets a imitation sense of security that unfortunately reinforces the anxiety cycle.

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OCD's charade is that you lot have to struggle with and resolve the content of the thought. Y'all have to clarify, rectify, and examine the thoughts to determine whether they are true or fake. For example, the contamination OCD sufferer believes he must be certain that his hands are fully make clean, or at least clean enough, before they can collaborate with anyone.

In the brief overview of the OCD bicycle higher up, you lot likely noticed that I mentioned thoughts and feelings. Wouldn't this advise that OCD is both a thought and a feeling issue? Yes, but in exercise non really. People with OCD often get wrapped up in three potential issues; the trigger, the feared story, and the feeling. Ultimately, liberty from OCD requires y'all to face downwards the feeling, considering OCD is a feeling problem.

The Trigger

OCD can be triggered by almost annihilation, including things we encounter, random thoughts we have, sensations we feel, and objects we encounter. Everything that you and I will always encounter, call back, feel, or feel is neutral until we place some value upon information technology. Meaning it is neither good nor bad, correct nor wrong. Is a pocketknife good or bad? It can exist used to open to alphabetic character, just it can likewise exist used to open a person. How about therapy? It is both good and bad. Information technology can bring about profound positive life transformation, simply information technology can also exist emotionally draining, fourth dimension-consuming, and plush.

• What Is Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder?
• Observe a therapist to treat OCD

Likewise, triggers to one'due south fears are also neutral. Yet those with OCD and anxiety disorders exaggerate the meaning and importance of triggering thoughts or images as they relate to the Feared Story.

Each fear has whatsoever number of neutral associations. Remember the pocketknife case? It doesn't accept but one meaning or significance. A knife can conjure thoughts of cooking shows. It can cause someone to think of their dad's fishing knife or Julius Caesar. The thought of a knife can besides spark thoughts of suicide, harm, or crime.

If you blame the trigger (i.e. the feared idea or object) and label information technology as the trouble, you are beingness misdirected. OCD, and the history of repeated compulsions, exaggerate the importance of a select number of mental associations. Over time, the other neutral or positive associations are downplayed or ignored leaving the feared associations every bit seemingly the but associations for these thoughts or experiences.

OCD Essential Reads

When you scapegoat the trigger every bit the problem, you believe minimizing your contact with it volition make the obsession about it go away. Unfortunately, avoiding the trigger leads to isolation and reinforces the fake notion that the trigger is the trouble, resulting in greater fear of the trigger and the feared story information technology spawns.

The Feared Story

Our brain tells u.s. stories all twenty-four hours. Some nosotros like. Some nosotros don't. OCD tells united states of america stories likewise, and they are catastrophic, threatening, and at odds with who we are. These Feared Stories are a combination of distorted thoughts and mental images about the outcome of actions, ane's graphic symbol, or an inevitable future that concludes in something terrible.

Some people blame the Feared Story as the trouble inside OCD. They call back that if they were to simply get rid of the thoughts, recall the contrary of the thought, prove that the idea is wrong, or simply "but think right" that their OCD would evaporate. They believe OCD is a thought problem.

To their point, treatment for OCD and anxiety disorders commonly begins past challenging the feared story using rational thought to develop a broader, reality-based view of the fear. This do helps the sufferer develop confidence that their intrusive thoughts are likely irrational, overvalued, and not deserving of excessive and exhausting compulsive responses.

When I challenge the Feared Story in session, my clients are quick to point out how their Feared Story is wrong. They normally say, "I know this doesn't make sense," and then proceed to signal out all the reasons why information technology doesn't make sense, and they are right!

For example, a customer with Pedophile OCD (POCD) might say, "I'm non a pedophile because I've never been attracted to a child in the past. I've never wanted to exercise anything sexual with a child. Whenever I accept the thought well-nigh molesting a kid, I always go anxious and have never felt feelings consistent with my typical feelings of attraction when I think about adults."

Generally speaking, people with OCD are capable of combating their feared thoughts with rational alternatives. Nonetheless, compulsions exist because a feared thought comes with, or takes the form of, an uncomfortable and unwanted feeling that overwhelms the sufferer.

Despite developing a list of rational observations and objections to the Feared Story, it does nothing long term considering the issue has never been a thing of "right thinking," merely of an intolerance of the feeling brought on by the Feared Story.

The Feeling

Here is the actual problem of OCD. The feeling. More specifically, it is the feeling that makes you appoint in compulsive behavior, which after reinforces the OCD cycle. Chasing down and embracing that feeling with a welcoming and accepting posture desensitizes yous to the feeling over time. Conversely, if you are unwilling to feel the feeling, just instead rely on compulsions and avoidances, desensitization cannot happen.

Remember, we are able to acknowledge that the trigger is neutral, and has a number of alternative associations. Additionally, we are very capable of telling ourselves why the Feared Story is irrational and incorrect. Nevertheless, nosotros are unable to convince ourselves to not feel something because feelings are largely out of our control.

While not bad or wrong, feeling anxiety in an OCD moment is unwanted. Typically speaking, nosotros say feet feels bad, simply it by itself is not "bad." Information technology is an unwanted feeling country at the moment you're feeling it. When we ride a roller coaster or see a horror movie, we expect to feel collywobbles in our stomach, feel our eye racing, and feel jumpy. You know, anxiety feelings. But in this context, we paid good money for the feel! So, the feeling itself is not bad, just unwanted at that moment and inconsistent with the level of actual risk.

Similarly, when it comes to OCD, sometimes the feeling isn't just feet, merely sadness, loneliness, acrimony, apathy, or emptiness.

The goal of Exposure and Response Prevention treatment is to intentionally feel this feeling, acknowledge this inconsistent emotional response, and permit it remain without compulsive behaviors until it passes. Remember, information technology will always pass.

Counterintuitively, your job in Exposure and Response Prevention is to engage the feeling. It's the enemy and the problem. The solution is to show that you lot're stronger than information technology past calling its barefaced that the feeling is heralding in something terrible and that y'all are not potent enough to shoulder the uncomfortable feel. You are strong enough, and the terrible outcome probably is not coming. Stand firm and let the storm laissez passer.

Experience the Hurting, See the Results

If you are non set up to exercise this, you are going to have a hard time overcoming your anxiety. But y'all can start modest, and progressively work up. If you lot are consistent and continue pushing yourself, you volition eventually find more mental and emotional force and freedom.

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Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stronger-fear/201912/ocd-isn-t-thought-problem-it-s-feeling-problem

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