Funny Relationship Quotes Focusing on Men Why They Act Up

Read this entire collection of funny inspirational quotes and sayings that will help you find the humor in everyday moments.

What are some of your favorite funny quotes about life?

Humor is a huge part of life.

With so many things outside of our control, sometimes the best move is to just laugh.

We can't change everything. We can't improve everything.

Some things we can't change, so we must change the way we see them.

Sometimes that perspective is found in the form of humor.

We curated this collection of quotes from comedians, writers, actors, and other thought leaders to help you laugh at the pain, laugh at the struggle, and laugh at the elephants in the room.

Make sure to let us know in the comment section, which quote(s) were your favorite.

Funny inspirational quotes for work and life

1. "I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific." – Lily Tomlin

2. "If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you." – Steven Wright

3. "I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book." – Groucho Marx

If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of book quotes about the power of reading from your favorite authors.

4. "All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure." – Mark Twain

5. "If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else." – Yogi Berra

6. "There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

7. "It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous." – Robert Benchley

Don't forget to also check out these pieces of life advice that can change your life.

8. "Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent." – Langston Coleman

9. "Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door." – Kyle Chandler

10. "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia." – Charles Schulz

Also, check out these witty quotes to sharpen your cleverness.

Funny inspirational quotes about life that will motivate you

And if you need some motivation to stay on your grind, be sure to check out our collection of hustle quotes.

11. "It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." – Eugene Ionesco Decouvertes

12. "Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats." – Voltaire

13. "When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'" – Sydney Harris

14. "The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs… one step at a time." – Joe Girard

15. "The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office." – Robert Frost

16. "We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." – George Bernard Shaw

17. "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." – Mark Twain

18. "Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese." – Billie Burke

If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of age quotes for the young and the young at heart.

19. "The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for." – Maureen Dowd

20. "It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong." – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Don't forget to also read these short inspiring quotes to fuel your day.

Funny inspirational quotes about life and career

21. "The key to success is not through achievement but through enthusiasm." – Malcolm Forbes

22. "I cannot afford to waste my time making money." – Louis Agassiz

23. "Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings." – Robert Bloch

If you're enjoying these quotes, you'll love our collection of inspirational quotes for friends to show just how much they mean to you.

24. "If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito." – Betty Reese

25. "The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits." – Albert Einstein

26. "Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back." – Oscar Wilde

27. "When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best – that is inspiration." – Robert Bresson

28. "My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." – Dave Barry

29. "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." – A.A. Milne

30. "I didn't fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong." – Benjamin Franklin

Also, check out these thoughtful wallpaper quotes to inspire your life.

Funny Inspirational quotes for life

31. "Too much of a good thing can be wonderful." – Mae West

32. "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." – Thomas Edison

33. "You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." – Jack London

34. "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go." – Dr. Seuss

35. "There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?​" -​ Kin Hubbard

36. "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow." – Mark Twain

37. "Life is like a sewer – what you get out of it depends on what you put into it." – Tom Lehrer

38. "Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right." – Isaac Asimov

39. "Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor." – Truman Capote

40. "People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing; that's why we recommend it daily." – Zig Ziglar

If you're enjoying this article, you'll also love these great quotes about life, success, love and family.

Short funny quotes and sayings about work

41. "If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now." – Marie Osmond

42. "I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches." – Alice Roosevelt Longworth

43. "Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes." – Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

44. "You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself." – Sam Levenson

45. "Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger." – Franklin P. Jones

46. "You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." – Woody Allen

47. "Life is like a box of chocolates." – Forrest Gump

48. "Age is a very high price to pay for maturity." – Tom Stoppard

49. "Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them." – Andy Rooney

50. "In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back." – Charles Schulz

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More funny inspirational quotes and sayings

51. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are."—Will Ferrell

52. "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."—Rita Rudner

53. "When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."—Erma Bombeck

54. "Never follow anyone else's path. Unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path."—Ellen DeGeneres

55. "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."—Michael Scott, The Office

56. "You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police."—Joan Rivers

57. "Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts."—Lt. Frank Drebin

58. "I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own."—Les Dawson

59. "The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize."—Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias

If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of monday motivation quotes to help you get the week started.

60. "I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."—Phyllis Diller

Funny inspirational quotes to motivate you

61. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
– Thomas Edison

62. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? – George Carli

63. If you're going to be thinking, you may as well think big. – Donald Trump

64. My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. – Mitch Hedberg

65. "You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice." — Sam Levenson

66. "It's okay to look at the past and the future. Just don't stare." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

67. Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. – Mark Twain

68. "I have to be successful because I like expensive things." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

69. "Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat." — Harry Emerson Fosdick

70. I am blessed with a funny gene that makes me enjoy life. – Karan Patel

Funny inspirational quotes for everyone

71. "Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway." – Robert Downey Jr.

72. "Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom." – Terry Pratchett

73. "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." – George Carlin

If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of George Carlin quotes to from the iconic comedian.

74. "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." – Albert Einstein

75. "I figured something out. The future is unpredictable." – John Green

76. "To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone." – Reba McEntire

77. "You grow up the day you have your first real laugh – at yourself." – Ethel Barrymore

78. "A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open." – Frank Zappa

79. "Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." – Dale Carnegie

80. "Aspire to inspire before we expire." – Eugene Bell Jr

Funny inspirational quotes to enrich your day

81. "I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched." – Edgar Allan Poe

82. "Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!" – Dr. Seuss

83. "Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could."
– Charles J. Sykes

84. "By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day." – Robert Frost

Don't forget to also check out these motivational quotes of the day for daily rejuvenation.

85. "Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television." – Woody Allen

86. "Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished – If you're alive it isn't." – Richard Bach

87. "We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know." – W. H. Auden

88. "The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces." – Will Rogers

89. "Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's more like a cha-cha." – Robert Brault

90. "Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." – Will Rogers

Funny inspirational quotes to uplift you every day

91. "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."– Abraham Lincoln

92. "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."– Alan Dundes

93. "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."– Andy Rooney
If you're enjoying these quotes, you'll love our collection of funny dog quotes to make you LOL with your furry best friends.

94. "If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else."
– Ann Landers

95. "The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper."– Bertrand Russell

96. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."– Bernard Baruch

97. "The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."– Bill Watterson

98. "Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem."– Bill Vaughan

99. "A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it."– Bob Hope

100. "A day without laughter is a day wasted."– Charlie Chaplin
If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to check out our collection of laughter quotes proving why it's the best medicine.

Funny inspirational quotes about life and love

101. "They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning."– Clint Eastwood

102. "By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong."– Charles Wadsworth

103. "Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it."– Cullen Hightower

104. "If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you."– Billy Wilder

105. "I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection."– Drake

106. "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."– Elbert Hubbard

107. "If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age."– George Burns

108. "I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they're cramming for their final exam." – George Carlin

109. "If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."– Henny Youngman

110. "Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more."– James Thurber

Funny inspirational quotes to laugh about

111. "He who laughs last didn't get the joke."– Charles de Gaulle

112. "Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know."– Daniel J. Boorstin

113. "We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public."– Bryan White

114. "A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future."– Denis Waitley

115. "The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."– Dorothy Parker
If you're enjoying these quotes, you'll love our collection of Dorothy Parker quotes that will help you uncover life's secrets.

116. "A woman is like a tea bag – you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."– Eleanor Roosevelt

117. "Leave something for someone but dont leave someone for something."– Enid Blyton

118. "Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example."– Francois de La Rochefoucauld

119. "I'm in shape. Round is a shape."– George Carlin

120. "Haters are just confused admirers because they can't figure out the reason why everyone loves you."– Jeffree Star

If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to check out our collection of confused quotes about the ups and downs of life.

Funny inspirational quotes that will make you laugh and think

121. "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."– Ron White

122. "It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance."– Thomas Sowell

123. "Have no fear of perfection. You'll never reach it."– Salvador Dali

124. "Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do." – Voltaire

125. "I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job."– Samuel Goldwyn

126. "Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." – Marilyn Monroe

127. "You cannot be anything if you want to be everything." – Solomon Schechter

128. "The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." – Ayn Rand

129. "To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research."– Steven Wright
If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of Steven Wright quotes to make you laugh.

130. "Live each day like it's your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night." – Jason Love

Funny inspirational quotes to make your day better

131. "It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?"– Ronald Reagan

132. "I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!"– Tom Lehrer

133. "A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."– Samuel Goldwyn

134. "You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it." – Robin Williams

135. "If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?"– Scott Adams

136. "Trying is the first step toward failure." – Homer Simpson

137. "It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!"– Steven Weinberg

138. "If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito." – Betty Reese

139. "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"– Steven Wright

140. "When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye." – Cathy Guisewite

Funny inspirational quotes to put a smile on your face

141. "The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished." – Groucho Marx

142. "Today's opportunities erase yesterday's failures." – Gene Brown

143. "It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others." – Ashleigh Brilliant

144. "If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself." – Irish Proverbs

145. "Life only delivers to people that create their own postal code." – Jelani Daniel

146. "See the world like a big wardrobe. Everybody has his own costume. There is only one that fits you perfectly." – George Harris

147. "Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy." – Charlie McCarthy

148. "The mind is like a clock that is constantly running down. It has to be wound up daily with good thoughts." – Fulton J. Sheen

149. "Cause your facial expression to change – smile." – Catherine Pulsifer

150. "Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a gossip." – Richard Steele

Don't forget to also check out these words of wisdom to bring out the best in you.

Funny inspirational quotes that will lift your mood

151. "The reward for good work is more work." – Francesca Elisia

152. "A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright." – Lucille Ball

153. "Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there." — Will Rogers

154. "If you reach for a star, you might not get one. But you won't come up with a hand full of mud either." – Leo Burnett

155. "Well-behaved women seldom make history." – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

156. "You can't experience simple joys when you're living life with your hair on fire." – Emily Ley

157. "A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory." – Mark Twain

158. "If your capacity to acquire has outstripped your capacity to enjoy, you are on the way to the scrap-heap." – Glen Buck

159. "Actually being funny is mostly telling the truth about things." – Bernard Sahlins

160. "I think you can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow." – Janis Joplin

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Funny motivational quotes to uplift you

161. "If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?" – Albert Einstein

162. "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." – Bill Watterson

163. "Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one." – Terry Pratchett

164. "If you hit the target every time it's too near or too big." – Tom Hirshfield

165. "Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out." —John Wooden

166. "Life is a blank canvass, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can." – Danny Kaye

167. "Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost." – Martina Navratilova

168. "A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job." — Zig Ziglar

169. "Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing 'til it gets there." – Josh Billings

170. "There are no traffic jams along the extra mile." – Roger Staubach

You might also like these quotes on life lessons to help you move on.

Funny inspirational quotes that will make your day

171. "If we threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back." – Regina Brett

172. "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them… well, I have others." – Groucho Marx

173. "Life isn't finding shelter in the storm. It's about learning to dance in the rain." – Sherrilyn Kenyon

If you're enjoying these quotes, read our collection of dance quotes to help you find the perfect words about movement.

174. "Too often we visit the well of divine abundance with a teacup instead of a bucket." – Elinor MacDonald

175. "When everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much." – Walter Lippmann

176. "What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

177. "I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened." – Will Rogers

178. "The reason so few people are successful is no one has yet found a way for someone to sit down and slide uphill." – W. Clement Stone

179. "Complain a lot and people will hear you but not listen." – Catherine Pulsifer

180. "I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it."
– George Bernard Shaw

Funny inspirational quotes about life and happiness

181. "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito." – Dalai Lama

182. "Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

183. "A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks." – Charles Gordy
If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of smile quotes to help keep a smile on your face.

184. "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." – Anais Nin

185. "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." – George Burns

186. "Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears." – Les Brown

187. "Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else." – Margaret Mead

188. "I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early." – Yogi Berra

189. "A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction." – Justin Sewell

190. "Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce." – Unknown

Funny inspirational quotes to keep you going forward

191. "Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can't laugh at yourself, Call me….I'll laugh at you." – Unknown

192. "The only place where your dreams become impossible is in your own thinking."– Robert H Shuller

193. "I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else."- Winston Churchill

194. "The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen." — Sarah Brown

195. "Change is not a four-letter word… but often your reaction to it is!" – Jeffrey Gitomer

196. "The trouble with the rat-race is that, even if you win, you're still a rat." – Lily Tomlin

197. "What is the difference between an obstacle and an opportunity? Our attitude toward it. Every opportunity has a difficult, and every difficulty has an opportunity."– J. Sidlow Baxter

If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of opportunity quotes about making the most of a situation.

198. "There's power in looking silly and not caring that you do." – Amy Poehler

199. "You can, you should, and if you're brave enough to start, you will."
– Stephen King

200. "The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been." – Madeleine L'Engle

If you're enjoying these quotes, you'll love our collection of getting older quotes that will make you embrace the beauty in aging.

Hilarious and funny inspirational quotes

201. "Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost." – Ellen DeGeneres

202. "I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches." – Alice Roosevelt Longworth

203. "To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them." – Baron de Montesquieu

204. "I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time." – Marilyn Monroe

205. "A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject." – Winston Churchill

206. "The dumbest people I know are those who know it all." – Malcolm Forbes

207. "Don't let schooling interfere with your education." – Mark Twain

208. "When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half." – Gracie Allen

209. "I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know." – Mark Twain

210. "Good things come to those who initiate." – Susan RoAne

If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of vine quotes that showcase some of the most hilarious moments from the short-lived site.

Funny inspirational quotes to lift your mood

211. "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do." –Benjamin Franklin

212. "If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman." – Margaret Thatcher

213. "An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh." – Will Rogers

214. "To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking." – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

215. "Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively." – Dalai Lama

216. "A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them." –
Elbert Hubbard

217. "If you are not your own doctor, you are a fool." – Hippocrates

218. "Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle." – Bob Hope

219. "The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him." – Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

220. "If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough." –
Phyllis Diller

Funny inspirational quotes to brighten your day

221. "Taking an interest in what others are thinking and doing is often a much more powerful form of encouragement than praise." – Robert Martin

If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of encouraging quotes to help keep you going.

222. "You're at your best when you don't know what you're doing." – Paul Stanley

223. "A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." – Steve Martin

224. "A good time for laughing is when you can." – Jessamyn West

225. "Focus, focus, focus! What am I, a telescope?" – Naruto Uzumaki
If you're enjoying these quotes, you'll love our collection of Naruto quotes about life, success and relationships.

226. "Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home." – Phyllis Diller

227. "I'll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that's probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess." – Cassandra Duffy

228. "Free your mind and your ass will follow." – George Clinton

229. "I'm not confused. I'm just well mixed." – Robert Frost

230. "If you don't know where you are, a map won't help." – Watts Humphrey

Funny inspirational quotes to uplift your spirit

231. "Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!" – Jeffrey Gitomer

232. "Girls have got balls. They're just a little higher up, that's all." – Joan Jett

If you're enjoying this article, be sure to also check out our collection of inspirational pictures quotes that will help push you to keep moving forward.

233. "I intend to live forever. So far, so good." – Steven Wright

234. "I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock." – Henny Youngman

235. "If you fall, I'll always be there." – The Floor

236. "There's a little truth in all jive, and a little jive in all truth." – Leonard Barnes

237. "The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.​" — Stanley J. Randall

238. "To do nothing is sometimes a good remedy." – Hippocrates

239. "When you're riding, only the race in which you're riding is important." – Bill Shoemaker

240. "People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing." – Will Rogers

241. "When life puts you in a tough situation, don't say 'Why me?', say 'Try me'." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

242. "Where people aren't having fun, they seldom produce good work." – David Ogilvy

243. "Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood." —Bill Murray

245. "Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart." —Erma Bombeck

246. "My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That's the way to get an idea." —Andy Rooney

Don't forget to also check out our collection of quotes about having fun and enjoying your life.

Funny inspirational quotes about life and people

247. "All men are equal before fish." – Herbert Hoover

248. "Have you ever noticed that anybody driving faster than you is a maniac, and anyone going slower than you is a moron?" – George Carlin

249. "My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists." – Jean Rostand

250. "Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else." – Will Rogers

251. "Life is hard. After all, it kills you." – Katharine Hepburn

252. "Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television." – David Letterman

253. "I am only human, although I regret it." – Mark Twain

254. "Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them." – Bill Maher

255. "I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

256. "The road to success is always under construction." – Lily Tomlin

Funny inspirational quotes to make you laugh

257. "If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for like 8 years, you can believe in yourself for like 5 minutes." – Unknown

258. "The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind." – Unknown

259. "It's either me or my home. It seems both of us can't look good at the same time." – Unknown

260. "You never become a howling success by just howling." – Bob Harrington

261. "I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now." – Unknown

262. "I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it." – Bill Gates

263. "They burned the bridge, then ask why I don't visit." – Unknown

264. "That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it." – George Carlin

265. "You don't always get what you wish for, you get what you work for." – Unknown

266. "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." – Will Rogers

Funny motivational quotes about life and overcoming tough times

267. "Be happy, it drives people crazy." — Paulo Coelho

268. "Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, 'I'm not going to make it', but you laugh inside remembering all the times you've felt that way." — Charles Bukowski

269. "I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later." —Mitch Hedberg

270. "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." —Jack Handey

271. "When life brings big winds of change that almost blow you over, close your eyes, hang on tight, and believe." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

272. "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society." – Mark Twain

273. "Kill them with success and bury them with a smile." – Unknown

274. "If you let your head get too big, it'll break your neck." — Elvis Presley

275. "Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious." — Og Mandino

276. "I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms." — Michael Scott, "The Office"

Funny inspirational quotes to lift your spirits

277. "A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists." – Don Marquis

278. "If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." – Johnny Carson

279. "If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" – Abraham Lincoln

280. "Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway." – Gilbert Gottfried

281. "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early." – Charles Lamb

282. "Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion." – Tina Fey

283. "When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick." – George Burns

284. "Don't keep a man guessing too long – he's sure to find the answer somewhere else." – Mae West

285. "Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money." – Jackie Mason

286. "If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" – Milton Berle

Funny inspirational quotes that will brighten your day

287. "Bending beats breaking." ― Betty Greene

288. "Life is like homemade ice cream: sweet and seasonal. Enjoy it before it melts." – Unknown

289. "You can't crush ideas by suppressing them. You can only crush them by ignoring them. By refusing to think, refusing to change." ― Ursula K. Le Guin

290. "Family — the ties that bind … and gag!" – Erma Bombeck

291. "I've got 99 problems but I'm going for a run to ignore them all for an hour." – Unknown

292. "Life is like a cobweb, not an organization chart." – Ross Perot

293. "I don't run to add days to my life, I run to add life to my days." – Unknown

294. "The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life." – George Carlin

295. "All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed." – Sean O'Casey

Other funny inspirational quotes

296. "There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them." – Lawrence Welk

297. "If you want an interesting party, combine cocktails and a fresh box of crayons for everyone." —Robert Fulghum

298. "Hope is the dream of a waking man."– Aristotle

299. "I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter." —Unknown

300. "Deep breaths are very helpful at shallow parties." —Barbara Walters

301. "Always drink upstream from the herd." – Will Rogers

302. "May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions." —Joey Adams

303. "Delegating work works, provided the one delegating works, too." – Robert Half

304. "I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person." —Anonymous

305. "Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream." – Malcolm Muggeridge

Funny inspiration quotes that will motivate you while you giggle

306. "Bad decisions make good stories." — Ellis Vidler

307. "Think like a proton. Always positive." — Unknown

308. "Nothing is impossible, the word itself says "I'm possible!" — Audrey Hepburn

309. "A peacock that rests on his tail feathers is just another turkey." — Dolly Parton

310. "It's okay to look at the past and the future. Just don't stare." — Benjamin Dover

311. "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." — Winnie the Pooh

312. "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." — Oscar Wilde

313. "I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened." — Will Rogers

314. "The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?" — Captain Jack Sparrow

315. "Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it." — Dwight D. Eisenhower

Funny motivational quotes about life to keep you moving forward

316. "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." – Thomas A. Edison

317. "Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their heads turned up way too loud to hear it." – Brian Vaszily

318. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." – Oscar Wilde

319. "Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist." – Pablo Picasso

320. "If you're going through hell, keep going." – Winston Churchill

321. "If you hang out with chickens, you're going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you're going to fly." – Steve Maraboli

322. "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." – Phyllis Diller

323. "Life is like the stock market. Some days you're up. Some days you're down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind." – Paula Wall

324. "The only time I don't have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground." – James Jason

325. "Try to be like the turtle – at ease in your own shell." – Bill Copeland

Funny motivational quotes to lighten your mood

326. "Do or do not. There is no try." — Yoda

327. "So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you're on the right track." — Ed Helms

328. "Don't do what you want. Do what you don't want. Do what you're trained not to want. Do the things that scare you the most." ― Chuck Palahniuk

329. "Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him."― Charles Dickens

330. "Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up." — Ann Bradford

331. "It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous." — Robert Benchley

332. "If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you." — Steven Wright

333. "My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine." — Caroline Rhea

334. "All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening." — Alexander Woollcott

335. "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." — Erma Bombeck

Funny inspirational quotes to start the day

336. "You can't shine like a diamond, if you not willing to get cut like a diamond!" – Eric Thomas

337. "Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use." – Charles M. Schulz

338. "The only time I feel light-hearted is when I'm in a plane at 33,000 feet." – Robert Rivers

339. "If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room." – Confucius

340. "A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks." – Charles Gordy

341. "It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen." – Brigitte Bardot

342. "It is a common delusion that you can make things better by talking about them." – Rose MacAulay

343. "A laugh is a smile that bursts." – Mary H. Waldrip

344. "I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one." – Maya Angelou

345. "Some people die at twenty-five and aren't buried until they are seventy-five." – Benjamin Franklin

Which humorous and funny inspirational quotes were your favorite?

Humor is the spice of life. When we have a sense of humor, we look for the good in life, in other people and in ourselves.

Hopefully, these funny inspirational quotes will help you stay focused and stay loose. Keep them close to help make your journey through life more pleasurable.

Did you enjoy these funny inspirational quotes? What other funny motivational quotes about life would you add to the list? Tell us in the comment section below.

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Source: https://everydaypower.com/funny-motivational-quotes-about-life/

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